


beach bunny

by duaa



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Buses, Crying, Gen, M/M, Toxic Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:54:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24625834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duaa/pseuds/duaa
Summary: Janus' boyfriend is late. Again.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Toxic Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders - Relationship
Comments: 9
Kudos: 37





	beach bunny

Janus stood outside the cafe, ears burning a bright red. He could feel the gaze of the patrons inside, burning through the glass into his soul. The signal switched, and he crossed the road, scrubbing at his eyes. As he turned the corner, he gazed at the cafe once more, making eye contact with the cashier. Why was she still looking at him? It wasn't like he got stood up by his boyfriend who he proceeded to break up with on the phone. It wasn't like he left the place with tears swimming in his eyes. It wasn't like he felt miserable - he knew that that was a relationship that just wasn't working out, but it still fucking hurt. Why did he let Roman walk all over him, let him get away with everything, from snapping at him and never apologising to _cheating_ on him. He... did he even love him? Did Roman ever love Janus? Did Janus ever love Roman? Or did both of them just want the empty promises of a relationship? Just someone to love, a placeholder? 

It didn't matter, it never did and it never will. 

He just had to get home right now. And his usual bus was just pulling up, and thank god for that. Climbing in, he sat down, feeling his phone buzz. Someone swung in next to him, thankfully not pressing him against the window. He wanted to ignore the messages, but he knew that curiosity would just kill him.

__

_**5:42 PM** _

_**boyf:** cant make it today sorry baby kinda busy _

_**5:56 PM** _

_**boyf:** Janus please just talk to me I'm so sorry it just slipped my mind _

_**boyf:** im sorry_

_**6:17 PM** _

_**boyf:** you can come get your stuff tomorrow_

_**boyf:** bring my things????_

__

Fantastic. Absolutely wonderful. He rests his forehead on the seat in front, wiping a stray tear. God, it took Roman twenty one minutes to get over him? Twenty one minutes for the weeks of bullshit Janus put up with in the name of love, twenty one minutes for the hours Janus wasted. Twenty one minutes. 1260 seconds to forget about him. Roman speed ran through the stages of grief, if he even did and Janus barely had anytime to think about it. 

Now he had some time to think about it, starting with the messages Roman sent him. Deleting his contact, Janus read his message. Did he want to meet Roman tomorrow? No. So he wouldn’t go tomorrow. He’d go whenever he wanted and honestly, fuck Roman. 

The bus lurched and Janus was half expecting the passenger next to him to flatten him on the window, but the crushing impact never came. The man next to him placed an arm on the window behind Janus’ head, other hand gripping the front of their seat. Janus nodded his appreciation at the guy, the feeling that he knew him from somewhere else growing in his stomach. No, Janus would have remembered someone with a moustache, seeing as how he knew no one with any sort of facial hair. A weird fact, but one he knew of nonetheless. 

He and the guy sitting next to him got off at the same stop, Mr. Moustache skipped towards a library and Janus ducked into a winding street, taking solace in the familiar location. He walked faster and faster, until he was sprinting into his elevator, pressing the buttons frantically. He let himself into his flat, and - oh. 

Tears welled up in his eyes as his eyes fell on the book at his coffee table. Roman wrote him a few poems, binding loose sheets of paper into a book meant just for Janus’ eyes. Janus had been over the moon, caught up in how much Roman must’ve loved him and oh no -

“Janus? Janus, are you okay?” His roommate, Virgil, approached him, wringing his hands. “Oh, dude.” He lifted his arms a minuscule amount and Janus rushed into his embrace, finally letting himself go.

_If you feel lonely, I could be lonely with you_

Janus got on his usual bus, sitting down at the nearest empty spot. He ran into Patton today. He didn’t hate him, but he sure as fuck didn’t like him. Roman cheated on him with Patton, except Patton had no idea about Janus. Seeing Patton just reminded him of Roman so, so much. Ever since they broke up, Janus had been feeling all kinds of bad. He hated... everything. He hated Roman for being such a jerkass, he hated Virgil for being so nice and caring, he hated Patton for being associated with Roman and he hated himself. For loving Roman and for ever thinking that Roman would love someone like him. 

__

_**1:46 AM** _

_**unknown number:** Janus where were you?_

_**unknown number:** i waited for so long_

_**4:23 AM** _

_**unknown number:** fuck i never loved you anyways_

__

He hated himself for being inconsolable, hated that he was crying over this asshole. That he wanted Roman back in his life, for some sick and demented reason. He _knew_ that Roman wasn’t treating him right. He still wanted Roman, because a part of him thought about how he’d dated pretty much no one before Roman: because no one liked him. He wasn’t good-looking by any means, the jagged scar that ran down the left side of his face wasn’t a huge turn on for most. He wasn’t charismatic, just snarky and sarcastic. He didn’t really have much going on for him, he had one friend in this whole place, no connections. 

He knew that he shouldn’t want Roman back, but he does and that was that. 

Someone slid into his seat, and Janus shifted. The bus started and Janus realised that it was the same person he’d sat with the other day. His phone buzzed, another meme from Virgil. Virgil was a good guy, really sweet and caring and the best friend Janus could ever ask for or dream of.

_Tell me baby, why do you seem so blue?_

The days went by, and everyday, Janus got on his usual bus to his house and the moustache man sat with him. Janus noticed how he always listened to loud music that most people don’t blast out like that. He expected some metal, some emo songs, maybe even rap - he wasn’t sure what the lyrics were but all he knew was that it wasn’t any of those genres. It was, however, the same song played throughout the ride. And through the days. One time his earbud fell out and Janus heard a few words, ‘jesus christ you’re so’ followed by something Janus couldn’t catch. Which confused him to no end. He asked Virgil who blanked for a few minutes before suggesting he google it. He expected either religious songs or a huge list of songs with those words so he gave up, content to just hear the few things he did. Sure, he wondered what song it was and all, but it didn't matter that much. Especially not to the point of stalking and creeping. 

And so he became part of Janus' routine. Go to work (he took the 5 AM bus, which was an intimate ride with just the driver and him) and come back with Mr. Moustache. Except one day, there were no free seats, for some godforsaken reason. So Janus sat down next to a random old lady. The guy he sat with swept his eyes across the bus before landing on Janus. He fake-pouted, which made Janus laugh before shrugging. He sat down a few seats in front of Janus. The old lady fell asleep on his shoulder, as old ladies are wont to do, and he immediately checked her breathing. She thankfully woke up before Janus’ stop, leaving him free to sprint away from her. 

Just as he got off, he heard someone call out, “Bus stranger!”. Turning around, he saw that it was the moustache guy, jogging backwards in the direction he usually went in. He waved. Janus waved back, watching him go round the corner before profusely and loudly apologise. Must’ve knocked into someone. Janus chuckled again, before slipping into his street.

__

_**6:01 PM** _

_**unknown sender** : i still have your stuff ready to go in a box_

_**unknown sender** : just bring mine over and take your shit dude _

__

_Why are we so complicated?_

The next time Janus got onto the bus, it was relatively empty. Sitting in a free place, he waited for his... friend? Acquaintance? The bus guy slid in next to him, grinning. 

“You never know what you have until it’s gone, bus stranger. You are one of those things.”

“Oh wow, I’m flattered.” He actually was, because the guy seemed genuine enough. "I must warn you, I plan on sitting with that lady again. I quite enjoyed freaking out -"

"When she fell asleep, right?" Janus huffed a laugh, nodding as the guy continued. "It''s like even if _they_ didn't have a heart attack, you sure did!" 

"A feeling to cherish."

"Aw, hey, I can give you a heart attack, if you want!" 

"I do want that, I would love that." Moustache man chuckled, harsh and cutting. 

The bus started with a lurch and Janus' phone buzzed. Hoping that it was Virgil (or Dominoes with a discount code, he would take either), he quickly opened it. Of course, it was neither of those things, turning out to be Roman.

__

_**2:17 PM** _

_**unknown sender** : dude seriously_

_**unknown sender** : i need my things back_

_**unknown sender** : i know you have lunch now_

_**unknown sender** : seriously just leave it on my doorstep if you want, i'll leave your shit out_

_**4:27 PM** _

_**unknown sender** : YOU broke up with ME dont forget_

_**unknown sender** : jfc_

__

He locked his phone, pocketing it. The guy sitting next to him was listening to the same music.

_Maybe love is overrated_

__

_**2:32 AM** _

_**unknown sender** : you wont find someone like me_

_**unknown sender** : no one will love you like me_

_**unknown sender** : fuck janus i was late one time and this is what you do_

_**unknown sender** : pat wont get with me either _

_**10:38 AM** _

_**unknown sender** : janus_

_**unknown sender** : cmon_

_**unknown sender** : at least give me my stuff back _

__

_I'm tired of waiting_

**Author's Note:**

> i dunno man ive been slaving over this shitshow since 14 may my judgement is now clouded  
> lmk if you see a typo  
> ❤️💕


End file.
